As many of you know, I recently decided to change schools. It’s been a long process emotionally, longer really than I initially anticipated. It wasn’t a decision I ever took lightly. I went back and fourth, obsessing over it’s impact on me. Worrying about how I would look when it came to the time honored stance of not leaving your school in the Jiu-Jitsu community. Aspects that I agree and disagree with as someone who’s been on both sides of the issue.
I would say that as someone who’s now left a place that he loved, it honestly feels like a breakup. You go through all the signs and steps of the mourning process and it SUCKS! It’s a shitty situation all around, no matter how lightly you try to step around the issue it blows. I didn’t want anyone swayed or influenced by my issues so I never expressed them to my teammates. So in not trying to involve anyone from the gym in my thought process I ultimately felt alone and alienated from my support network.
After some time passed I reached out to some of my closest teammates and most had positive uplifting words about my time training with them which helped me along the way. Even when I thought I was OK with the decision and at a good place I really wasn’t. I felt unmotivated and lethargic. Maybe it was my own form of depression being that I was away from my comfort zone. Away from the laughs and familiar smiles. It was really hard to adjust to, especially for someone like me who is such an introvert. Exposing myself to others is extremely difficult so training at these other schools wasn’t as fun as I wanted it to be, so much so that I even debated quitting all together at one point.
My intent behind this blog isn’t to point fingers at anyone, it was more of a way for me to put closure on a chapter in my life that meant so much to me. I also want people to know that no matter what the circumstances, leaving a school is never easy. Picking sides is a useless endeavor so let your friendships and love for Jiu-Jitsu be stronger ties than gym boundaries. As I begin my new career with the Gracie Academy, I Look forward to my own growth and successes. In saying that I also look forward to cheering on my old teammates as they also grow and compete.
This is going to be a great 2015 for all of us.
Love you guys!